I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
