Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
