I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
