to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
