The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
