4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
