At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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