My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
