i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
