i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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