She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
