You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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