that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
