there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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