We won't sleep together?
I cannot find my penis.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
