It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
