Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
