There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
