Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
