Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
