so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
3pm strippers are depressing
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
