what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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