all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
