did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
