He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Houston, we have a squirter
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
