I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
