with your own penis?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
