I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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