dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
