the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
