So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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