my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
