Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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