The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
