i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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