We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
