if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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