How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
