I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
