Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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