Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
