No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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