Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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