I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
