Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
