I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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