Cold hands, warm shart.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
