I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
