Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
