i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
