My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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