He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
